My Acting Blog
Today is the first day of my blog. This is a blog about acting, about the experience of trying to find out what acting is, about the adventurous journey of being a freelancer (in Romania!), about seeing life through the “lens” of acting. Acting as a way of living.
I’ve been dreaming to become an actress since my 8th grade… I was 15!!! That’s half of my life! I had a very strong impulse that made me fight for my dream and pursue theatre in high school, university, and then even for a Master programme and a PhD, as I really thought you never stop learning. I still think that. Trying to learn acting is something that gets deeper and deeper, and then, at some point even wider. It’s like scuba diving into a beautiful (apparent) lake, but as you go deeper, it gets darker, and wilder and you find yourself being on the bottom of an infinite ocean.
I traveled the world to complete my skills with workshops that implied different methods than what I had previously done in university. I’ve read so many books, and met incredible professionals that I’ve learned so much from. I’ve had performances on huge stages, or on small ones, in clubs, in improvised places, or in very high rated theatres… and still, when it comes to castings/auditions, or first readings, I feel like I am back at the beginning, being clumsy and uncomfortable, wondering if I know something at all.
But then again, all you can do in this kind of situations is to put everything aside, and let yourself embrace (with grace and vulnerability) a whole new experience, and see what comes out of it. (And out of yourself! 😉 )
Being an actor sometimes gets really crazy, it can tear you apart and can make you want to run away screaming until you’ve reached the other side of the world, but insanely, you fall in love with this process. It’s like a huge, unbearable love that keeps you awake at all times, and you forget to eat or to sleep… You realise that you’ve been laughing and crying and working for the last 12 or 14 hours, but you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world. And then you start to be grateful, to feel really lucky that somehow you’ve made it so far and you’re there, doing what you love, with amazing, talented people that you learn from every minute, and you also make a living out of it! 😉
It sounds crazy, I know, and to some extent I think it is. “Normal” people don’t go up and down emotionally so often. Maybe it happens to them in their most extraordinary moments of their life. But we (actors) chose this kind of living, maybe especially for the extraordinary in it. You can get the happiest of the worst moments of your life from acting, every day. Its up to you how you manage those moments and how you balance them within your personal life, and the other aspects that complete your being.
I’ve decided to start putting them down, these experiences. And I chose to do it publicly, in order to strengthen my commitment. I would be really interested if you have similar thoughts, concerns, or experiences. It’s always good to realise that you are not alone. And also, if it is something else about acting that you’ve been struggling with… please write in the comments below.
My major themes, or categories (in blogging language 😉 ) include:
- Photo shooting
- Events that make a change – Festivals, charity events, opportunities to open up and exercise your generosity.
- Meetings with remarkable professionals.
This blog is an exercise, a dare to do something bold, a true challenge, and a whole new experience for me. I’ve read so many inspiring blogs, and I kept wondering what could I write about? What could I contribute with to this amazing, huge, complicated world? So this is my answer and my trial. My self-acceptance as a person who thinks (maybe too much) about what she does, my chance to discover blogging as a true complementary experience or to fail bravely having tried.
Welcome to my acting blog!
Ps: I still have a lot to discover about keeping a blog, many technical things around (tags, buttons, so many options), so please bear with me, have some patience and I’ll find my way soon.